ootsfandomcom-20200222-history
Construction Workers
}} Grubwiggler re-animates Roy as a bone golem. Celia objects to what he has done to Roy, prompting him to take her prisoner and exact his fee in flesh. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as bone golem) ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf (sickened) ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * Hieronymus Grubwiggler ◀ ▶ * Giro ◀ ▶ * Green Flesh Golem ▶ Transcript Celia is going over Grubwiggler's contract. Grubwiggler: Excellent! Tonight's storm is right on schedule. Roker shall see one more sunrise. Celia: Well, this contract is a little archaic, but it seems pretty standard. Grubwiggler: Now we need only wait for lightning to strike the— Celia casts lightning. Celia: I'm kinda in a hurry. Grubwiggler: Ah, see? The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working! The spells have been cast, now we need only wait, and... Celia: Wait a minute, what exactly is the "product of envivification" and why are there one... two... three pages dealing with it? Grubwiggler: It's alive! Grubwiggler: ALIVE!!! Celia: What the hell did you do to him?? You said no undead!! Grubwiggler: And indeed, he is not undead—he's a construct, bones animated by an earth elemental spirit bound under my control. Grubwiggler: Which I guess technically makes my statement of, "It's alive," inaccurate, but I just love saying that. Grubwiggler: Once you remit my fee, we'll select a PIN code you can use to command the golem. Celia: I'm not paying you, you monster! Look what you did to my boyfriend. Celia: Plus, I didn't sign anything and I never actually agreed to your verbal contract. Grubwiggler: Well, in that case, allow me to show you a portfolio of my previous work in the field of golems. A flesh golem appears stage left. Grubwiggler: Restrain the sylph! Celia: AAAHHH! Belkar enters the room. Belkar: Look, Mr. Scruffy, Herman Munster is trying to hurt the Cart Fairy! We better get over there and— He vomits. Belkar: *BLUURRRGGH!* He vomits some more. Belkar: *hnnFLUUURGH!* He produces yet more vomit. Belkar: *hnnFLUUURGH!* Grubwiggler: ... Grubwiggler: I'm adding my janitorial bill to what you owe me for the golem. Belkar (off-panel): *BLFRRRG!* Celia: I'm sorry, I can't hear you due to the overwhelming emotional damages that I'm sure any jury will recognize. D&D Context * The monster in the 8th and 12th panels, which resembles the classic Hollywood portrayal of Frankenstein's monster, is a Flesh Golem. * As a sylph, Celia can cast Lightning Bolt as one of her natural spell-like abilities. * The spells required to animate Roy as a Bone Golem are ambiguous, as the monster was never published for D&D 3.0 or 3.5. However, based on the 1st and 2nd edition material, it is likely that the spells required are: ** Geas/Quest, a 6th level spell which compels the creature to service. ** Limited Wish, a 7th level spell with flexible effects. In this case it would animate the construct. ** Polymorph Any Object, an 8th level spell which changes the inanimate skeleton into a cohesive structure. ** Other versions of a 3e Bone Golem might include Telekinesis or Animate Dead. Trivia * Al Roker is a TV weatherman best known as the weather anchor on NBC's Today. Apparently Grubwiggler is holding him captive in return for accurate forecasts. * Grubwiggler's comment of "Its alive...ALIVE!" is an homage to Dr. Frankenstein's famous line from the 1931 Universal Pictures film Frankenstein, as is the lightening bringing a creature "back" to life. * Grubwiggler's line "The eleven secret herbs and reagents are already working!" is a reference to the eleven herbs and spices that purportedly make the secret recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken. * Belkar's comment regarding the Frankenstein's-monster-like golem holding Celia is a tribute to the 1964-66 TV show The Munsters, a show that had a similar appearing character with the name Herman Munster. * This is the first appearance of the Green Flesh Golem. External Links * 576}} View the comic * 85263}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Lightning Bolt Category:Uses Geas/Quest Category:Uses Polymorph Any Object Category:Uses Limited Wish Category:Grubwiggler Animates Roy as a Golem